New Year’s Resolutions


New Year’s Resolutions

resolutions and goalsI have always been a big goal person.  I like writing down goals and dreaming big.  Even better I love crossing those goals off when I realize them.  As I grow up I realize what I want most from life is CONNECTION.  That it feels good to work for something and to accomplish it.  To dream big. But when I feel most fulfilled, it is when I am connected to those around me and to God.  When I look back at my life I am not going to remember piles of laundry folded, dishes done, or an immaculate house but the times that I PLAYED, LAUGHED, and CONNECTED to those around me.

In the book The Gift Of Imperfections, Brene Brown talks about how she sat down and wrote out all the “ingredients” in her life that made her happy.   She wrote things down like time spent with family, time to exercise, laughing with her family, etc.  She then took her recipe for happiness and compared it to her list of goals.  She realized their was a disconnect between the two. Her goals were about achieving more, doing more, having more. Realizing that everything in life is trade offs, she decided to revamp her goals.  To work less and have more time at home.  By saying NO to some things,  she had time for the things that made her most happy.  Amen sister.  So I wrote out what makes me most happy, and then made goals from those.

My Recipe For Happiness

  • TIME-to laugh, to create, to hang out, to not have my time so packed full of things I can enjoy where I am at in the present and not be rushing off to the next thing.
  • One on one time with my kids to PLAY.  We call it our special time.  We set the timer for 10 minute and play whatever they want to play.  No distractions. Before starting this I didn’t realize how little I actually got down on the floor and PLAYED.
  • When I am connected with those around me-read not on my phone, or distracted but present.
  • Eating family dinner together.
  • EXERCISING.  I LOVE a good sweat.
  • Drinking enough water.
  • Eating fresh healthy food, and in the same breath Talenti caramel sea salt gelato for those times you need something sweet.
  • Going out with friends and LAUGHING.
  • A hot shower.
  • Time ALONE-ha ha I never thought I would value that-but after having kids this is a must, especially grocery shopping alone, it’s like a mini vacation-I am easy to please.
  • Dancing in the kitchen.
  • Dates with my husband.
  • TRAVELING
  • A good adventure.
  • Getting creative in the kitchen-even better if my kids are by my side.
  • Doing crafts with the kids.
  • LAUGHING

NEW YEARS GOALS

Here are my goals for the New Year.  I decided to limit them to 5.   My husband had a friend that picked ONE goal each year and she would focus on it the entire year.  I had a hard time narrowing mine down to 5.

1.  CONNECT TO GOD DAILY

This is something that transforms my day.  I am grateful to have Him to rely upon.  Being a mom is HARD.  I LOVE it, but there are situations I don’t know how to handle.  Times I need to be patient, and take a deep breath before I speak.  Times I feel inadequate.  Times I feel overwhelmed.  I need someone that is bigger to lean upon, to give me strength, and to help me see the beauty that surrounds me-because there is SO MUCH BEAUTY that surrounds me. Connecting to God through prayer, scripture study, and taking time to be still and think, makes a huge difference in my day.

2. SIMPLIFY

I realize that if I want to have MORE time with my husband, my kids, and time to myself I need to be deliberate about what I put on my plate.   Only say yes to things that are the MOST essential and master the art of saying NO to the things that aren’t.  I also want to simplify my house and DE-CLUTTER.

3. CONNECT TO MY HUSBAND

THE best gift I can give my kids is a strong relationship with my husband.   I want Skye to know what she deserves in a marriage, and Isaiah to know how to treat a girl.  I also want to have them see us WORKING on it.  That things that are of worth take WORK.  That the cheap love you see in movies doesn’t hold a candle to the DEPTH that comes from patience, acceptance, and forgiveness that forges a deeper love.

I am going to do this by weekly dates and taking time to talk every day (ha ha this one isn’t hard for me-the talking part-the real thing I need to do is LISTEN).

4. CONNECT TO MY KIDS

Going along with my recipe for happiness the number one theme throughout is TIME.  Time to laugh, to play, and to connect.  Each day I will spend 10 minutes 2x a day with my kids playing whatever they want to play.  With Cooper it will be rocking him.  We did this this last year and it has made a HUGE impact on feeling connected and ENJOYING my kids.

5. TAKING TIME FOR MYSELF (CONNECT TO MYSELF)

Oh why is this so hard for us moms!  Everyone’s needs get put before our own. BUT I have noticed I am a better mother when I take time for MYSELF.  When I do the things I love.  It is like the airplane when you need to put on your own mask first so that you can take care of your children.  If you neglect your mask it leaves you depleted and unable to meet the needs of those around you that depend on you.

I LOVE to exercise and if you ask my husband he can tell you that I get ornery if I don’t MOVE my body.  For everyone’s sake I exercise almost every day except for Sundays.  It is time that I take for me.  It is what makes me happy.  It allows me to give back to my family because I am FULL.    What I struggle with is portion control.  I LOVE food, and I LOVE to eat.  I have never understood when people say they forgot to eat, because I love food so much. What I am practicing this year is eating until I am comfortably full and not stuffed-why is it so hard!  It takes being mindful and not eating out of boredom or stress.

 

 

 

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15 Responses to New Year’s Resolutions

  1. brook says:

    LOVE this! I am teaching a class on goals and vision boards tomorrow and I think this was just the final thing I needed for the class and also for myself. Great ideas!

  2. Shanna says:

    I would say my goals are almost identical to yours although I am not married or in a relationship at the time. I total understand when you say you want to feel connected! I think that is my deepest longing although I am an introvert so I don’t need a whole lot of time with friends and loved ones to have my cup filled and I am working of finding that balance still. Thanks for sharing!

  3. Miriam says:

    Loved your New Years goals Desi – thanks for sharing!!! Have a fantastic year!

  4. Emily says:

    I want to like exercise. I’m an active person with little kids. I haven’t formally exercised much. What do you recommend not including gym memberships?

    • Desi says:

      Hi Emily!
      Oh Emily excercise is my sanity. I know what you mean about being active with little kids–it is A LOT of physical work. I like at home work out videos when my husband travels and running to get outside when he is home. A real treat is a mountain bike ride which doesn’t happen as often as I would like. For at home videos I like Beach Body’s Insanity-it’s intense. I also like The 21`Day Fix it is a little more mellow with lifting. I want to try P9030 next-I think that is what it is called:).

  5. J. Wilcox says:

    I LOVED reading this and smiled because these were my exact 5 resolutions this year. Thanks for putting it so eloquently in writing. Cheers to you !!!

  6. lindsay says:

    Oh man who ever introduced you to that salted caramel gelato must have some amazing taste.

  7. Bess says:

    He Desi,
    I dont get on your site/blog all the time, but when I have I just always liked your authenticity- now I know why I like you so much! Its your connection to God- it comes through – God bless you for all that you are doing and for helping us moms feels like we are all in this together!

    • Desi says:

      Hi Bess! Thanks so much for stopping by! Yes we are all in this TOGETHER! And yes thank goodness we have God to rely upon! Hope to hear from you more!

    • Desi says:

      Hi Bess! Your so sweet-I like you already!!! Yes we are all in this TOGETHER! And yes thank goodness we have God to rely upon! Hope to hear from you more!

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